Roast Chicken

Roast Chicken

1. Find yourself a nice plump hand reared rooster
2. Isolate it from food for about 6 hours (trust me, this really helps)
3. Use your imagination as to what might happen next
4. Put in refrigerator for about a day
5. Heat up the webber
6. When the kids ask what sort of chook it is, just reply "it's a chook"
7. When the kids ask if they can go and see the rooster, just reply "Wouldn't you rather play on the trampoline?"
8. Coat the freshly cleaned chook in olive oil, salt, chinese five spice, sweet paprika and pepper
9. Shove a lemon up its......... as well as some sprigs of time and rosemary
10. Roast for about and hour and a quarter (this was a big chook)
11. Carve up the chook, throw out the legs and thighs (tough as old boots)
12. Serve the breast meat with fresh buttercrunch lettuce, spinach and potato salad

I guess in hindisght i should have cooked this baby more like a turkey as opposed to chicken, given the size and age of the bird. Anyway, we no longer need to be looking over our shoulder when the chooks are out...